Social Media & Your Mental Health

                                       

                                    How Much is too Much?

There are a lot of articles today stressing the importance of taking regular breaks from social media. What are the benefits of this, and what if it's part of your career?

Benefits of spending less time on social media

Although there are many positives to social media, both professionally and personally, there are just as many negatives with overuse.

There can be a lot of pressure to post high-quality, flattering (which is oftentimes airbrushed or photoshopped), and engaging photos and captions. This can lead to comparisons with other people's photos that you may feel you don't measure up to. This may also lead to low self-esteem and mental health issues.

It's easy to get caught up in posting or viewing other profiles and then losing track of time as a result. I've been there myself. Sometimes it's even worse if I'm only viewing posts versus creating them for my freelance writing and book marketing business. It's so easy to lose time browsing other profiles (especially for my personal account, which is just for fun) when they're entertaining, informative, and visually appealing.

Spending too much time on social media can also affect your social life. It can make you feel lonely or isolated. You may become less physically active in general and get behind on other work and errands that need to be done. 

It's also not good for your eyes. Too much screen time can lead to dry eyes, eye strain, headaches and neck pain, and less focus overall. It also can make it harder to fall asleep, especially if you go on late at night, due to the blue light emitted from the screen.

There can also be a lot of negativity and drama on social media, especially in the comments section. (I try to limit reading them, especially if it's a post about controversial topics.) People can also feed off of other's negativity or enable others (even friends) to keep posting negative content.

Here are some tips that are beneficial in balancing your time spent on social media, even if it's part of your career:

~Schedule regular break times each day and when you will be posting content. Research the most effective times to post and engage. This will help decrease the pressure you may feel when under time constraints.

 ~Don't constantly check your messages and notifications during the day (especially on your phone!). It may even be beneficial to silence your phone or put it in another room (such as during lunch, for example).

~Don't go on for 2-3 hours before bed. Turn your device off or keep it out of your room if you have to.

~Make sure you are physically active and spend time doing things you enjoy. Spend more time with family and friends.

 

Spend time taking care of you. You deserve it!

An Emphasis on Mental Health Awareness

                 

On Mental Health Awareness

It’s more important now than ever to raise awareness and educate others about mental health issues. There’s more pressure today (especially on teens) since the invention of social media to fit in and be accepted by others. Many people compare themselves with their peers, influencers, and celebrities. There are more and more ads on social media (and many websites in general) selling products that tell you to look or act a certain way.

There are also so many people today experiencing job burnout due to a mental health condition or something difficult they are going through (especially since the pandemic), but feel too ashamed or afraid to take time off from work or ask for accommodations. There has always been a stigma about mental health issues and what society expects everyone to do to be accepted and seen as productive. Many people in the past would hide the fact that they went to a therapist for fear of others thinking they were crazy or weak for asking for help (luckily, this has improved over the past several years).

There are also still a lot of misconceptions about the types of mental illnesses. Much of this is based on old misinformation and what the media can sometimes portray (such as in books or movies). People need to be educated about mental health, beginning when they are young, and learn how to get help and support others who are struggling.

There is a lot more information and resources today for mental health issues, and it is so important that everyone help spread the word. Together, we can make a huge difference! Even a simple Facebook post/re-post (which only takes a second and is free) can help someone who may be struggling.

 

Other Ways to Help:

*NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): You can share with others the resources they offer for free. They also offer volunteer and donation opportunities.

*Do you struggle with mental illness? Share your story and how you cope with it. Let people know they are not alone. You can do this online (such as through blogging or through NAMI, or perhaps speak publicly about it (such as at a school or mental health group).

*Many areas offer free mental health support groups. You could even create your own (such as through meetup.com, but there is a $26 monthly fee).

*Simply showing kindness, compassion, and listening to others can do a world of good. Check in on your friends and family members from time to time. Listen to them and let them know about free mental health resources if they ask for help. Perhaps you know of a great therapist in your area. Every little bit you do helps, no matter how small it may seem. A simple phone call can make someone’s day! It’s a win-win situation because it will make you feel good in return for helping someone out.

Let’s get the word out and make a difference!

 

My Upcoming Self-Help Book

 

I am currently writing a self-help book! It's going to be about how to deal with anxiety and other mental health issues (which I have MANY years of experience dealing with!). This will be my first book that isn't a children's or young adult short story (this is a book for all ages), so it's definitely a new (and longer!) experience. Over the past five years or so I've thought about writing a self-help book, but I kept putting it aside. I wasn't ready yet; I didn't have all of the necessary skills and research tools. I believe I do now.

Stay tuned...

Mental Health Disabilities in the Workplace

 Let's talk about it!

Those who have higher-end jobs that are the result of years of education and persistence are highly praised in society. We see all of the hard work they put into getting where they are today and are impressed with their intelligence and drive. We also admire those who work a lot to support themselves. They are seen as productive members of society.

But what about those who are unable to work (or limited) due to a mental health disability? I want to talk about the stigma that is sometimes attached to those with mental health issues who are unable to work, as well as how it can hurt their self-esteem.

There are some people who look down upon those who, for example, receive money from the government for a mental health disability or who have special accommodations at their job. They may be seen as taking the easy way out (I have witnessed this before). Especially those who struggle with anxiety and depression, which are sometimes seen as less severe than other mental health conditions. Yet if people would take the time to educate themselves, they would learn just how painful and debilitating any type of mental illness can be. It is not a choice or due to laziness or a lack of motivation. Compare it to someone with a physical disability. Is that a choice? Why is that socially acceptable, but mental health disabilities are not? 

People have to realize what is going on in the minds of those dealing with mental illness. Sometimes mental illness is caused by a person's brain chemistry. It can also be a result of experiencing trauma or bullying. They may inherit it from a family member. There are many complex reasons that can come into play. These people often feel ashamed and blame themselves for being unable to work.

If you are unable to work or are limited in the workplace, please don't blame yourself or put yourself down for it. It's not a choice, and it isn't a reflection of your worth as a person. Your mental health comes before work, and there are resources that can help you (NAMI is a great place to start). There are free support groups both in-person and online today. There are also online therapists, which can be especially helpful for those who are limited with traveling or other issues.

When you begin building your self-esteem and have a good support system, it will greatly benefit your mental health. It can even lead you to being able to work someday. (But remember not to put pressure on yourself. Go at your own pace and do what feels best for you.) There are many online jobs available as well, which can be easier for some people.

The bottom line is to educate yourself if you don't understand mental illness and how it relates to one's ability to work. Show them compassion. For those of you who are struggling with your mental health and are unable to work (or very limited), keep your chin up and don't listen to anyone who puts pressure on you or criticizes you. You are more than your mental illness. You deserve to be treated with respect and to get the help you need. 

Let's make mental illness and disability in the workplace an open discussion for everyone and get the knowledge out there. You may just save a life.

The Significance of Slowing Down

    Take on less, be mindful, and get more accomplished...

Being busy all the time is often seen as an admirable achievement, especially in the United States. We see busy people as productive high-achievers who always help out and get things accomplished. I personally have always been amazed by this. I’ve never been able to take on too many projects (or social events) at once because I would get overwhelmed easily. To be honest, I was kind of jealous. But as I got older, I realized it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Why is busyness glorified?

We live in a very fast-paced culture. With a click of a button on social media, we see many high-profile and wealthy people going from one event to the next, all while tending to their kids when they get home from work. We sympathize with people on Facebook who talk about their latest social event and how “crazy busy” they are. We laugh along with funny memes they post about needing an extra shot of Espresso or a vacation.

There is a lot of pressure people put on themselves to do it all. We connect busyness with self-worth and social status. People want to feel needed and important. They want others to be able to count on them. Maybe they feel more in control when they take on a whole project by themselves without any help. They might attend endless social or community events in hopes of getting others' approval and showing they’re doing their part. The problem is that many people push themselves too hard, which leads to exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout. Sometimes they’ll get so overwhelmed with their daily tasks that they end up completing only half of them and give up. Then the guilt comes in, and the next day they work non-stop until late into the night. They might get irritable with other people. Chronic stress can also lead to health issues.

How can you still get enough done if you're not as busy?

Replace the word “busy” with “productive.” There is a difference! Busyness relates to constant movement, but not necessarily getting a lot accomplished. What if, instead of tackling a big project all at once, you break it up into smaller steps? Can something wait until the next day? Work, rest, and then feel refreshed and better able to concentrate on the next task at hand. Your self-confidence will go up as a result, further increasing your ability to do a good job. It’s also vital to set boundaries and learn how to say “no” sometimes. You don’t have to attend every social or community event. Prioritize and don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

Self-Care

The most important thing of all, in my opinion, is to regularly practice self-care. Even for five minutes at a time, just do something to relax and take care of yourself. When you get home from work, spend a few minutes reading or sitting out on the porch. Go for a relaxing walk in nature, do some journaling, take a bath, or take a nap. Do what feels good for you. Make sure you’re taking care of your physical and mental health.

Slow down and enjoy the little things in life we often take for granted, such as baking with your kids or going on a bike ride with friends. You won't get those moments back. Learn a new skill, find a hobby, or start a book club. Spend more time in nature and less time on your phone or electronic devices. Practice mindfulness or meditation. Appreciate life's natural wonders.

The bottom line is work, rest, and refresh. Slow down, work smart, get more accomplished, and enjoy the little things while you still can. Spend time with those you love and who you connect with. Be mindful and enjoy life, one moment at a time.

Creativity and Self-Expression

                                            

                                                    What are the benefits?...

Art and other creative hobbies are very beneficial for one's mental health. It is a wonderful form of self-expression! It can also help you to make sense of your feelings and put your thoughts into perspective (similar to journaling in that way). It can be meditative or used as a form of mindfulness (only focusing on the task at hand without judgment) and helps keep any negative thoughts at bay.

I found that when I began to learn acrylic painting, it gave me a sense of accomplishment, purpose, and meaning. I was able to express my unique style. I like to make paintings of ballerinas and fashion figures, using bold, bright colors and adding sparkles to it. That's just me!

There are endless opportunities to learn an art form, get crafty, or take a dance class or learn how to play a musical instrument (etc.). There are free art classes that some local libraries offer. You can even watch free art tutorials on YouTube! Check out a watercolor painting technique book at the library. Get creative!

It's also the perfect opportunity to become social and find people with similar interests. You could end up making a life-long friend! However, don't get discouraged if it doesn't work out at first. See it as a learning opportunity. Don't judge yourself, either, on your artistic ability; art doesn't have to be done on a professional level. Just keep practicing or try a different medium and see if you like that better.

Art is a great form of self-care, by taking time for yourself to unwind and focus on something you enjoy. It's perfect to do either by yourself for some quiet time or as a group activity or class. Both are very enjoyable and therapeutic for me. It's a great stress-reliever.

A very simple form of art therapy that a lot of people enjoy is using adult coloring books. These have become extremely popular over the years! You can find very inexpensive ones from The Dollar Tree. I've enjoyed using these in the past. They are easy and fun to use and helped me to focus and decompress.

So what are you waiting for? Get creative, experiment and have fun!

The Perplexity of Self-Esteem

                                      

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

This is something that everyone can relate to at least once in their lives. It's something that I have always personally struggled with. A lot of it is about comparison, which is very common among people. So many of us crave approval from others, and we feel like we have to earn it through what we accomplish in life. It's so easy to look at someone and think, why can't I be like that? We feel like we don't measure up. We're not smart enough, we need a better job, we need to be in a relationship or move in and settle down with someone…and on and on it goes.

Are we born this way? Perhaps it's in our nature or our DNA. But there are other factors when you really begin to think about it. It could have been your home environment when you were growing up. Maybe a family member or someone from school said that you should be more like your sibling and that you didn't try hard enough. Or (here's an easy one) social media and what it portrays. Not only are there famous and wealthy people to compare yourself to, but even family members and friends. We see photos (often filtered!) of people smiling at the camera at a big party or on vacation by the beach. Why can't I be more social (raising my hand here) or have enough money to go away on vacation during the winter? That is the downside of social media: people often only show us what they want us to see.

So how do we get out of the habit of putting ourselves down and being so hard on ourselves? It takes a new and more realistic perspective (and, in my case, lots of practice). First, we need to realize that no one is perfect or has it easy in life (it just appears that way sometimes). We all experience hardships and anxiety. We all have different strengths and talents. Although someone may not excel academically, they may be a great artist, athlete, or speaker. Everyone is talented at something. We need to go easy on ourselves and, especially, forgive ourselves for making mistakes. Maybe you've been dealing with a trauma or loss, and you've been neglecting to take care of yourself or your house. Maybe you needed to take time off of work due to a health condition (physically or mentally). Perhaps you've been short-tempered and snapped at a loved one for no apparent reason, or you haven't attended a social event (or even gone to the grocery store) in months. These are all normal and understandable reactions to what we go through in life. 

Forgive yourself, apologize to that person (who will most likely understand), and move on. Maybe instead of blaming ourselves, we can let ourselves take a day off every once in a while and just stay at home, relax, and read a book or watch a good movie. Give yourself permission to grieve or be angry about something, and then move on when you're ready and start taking care of yourself. Often, people see each other for who they are as a person and not what they have accomplished in their lives.

Let's take a step back and reflect on the good in ourselves and realize that we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. Let this be an opportunity for growth. How would your life be different if you changed the way you looked at yourself and showed yourself compassion instead of being so hard on yourself? Perhaps that is what the definition of success should really mean.

Anxiety and the Need for Certainty

                                         

What are we really in control of?...

This is something that a lot of people struggle with, even those without anxiety disorders. There are many things in life that we have no control over: aging, loss, illness, traumatic experiences, natural disasters, other people’s reactions, and so on. Uncertainty can be scary, and feeling powerless is a horrible feeling. A lot of this comes from difficult experiences people have dealt with. Traumatic experiences can lead to someone feeling apprehensive and on guard all of the time, or they may feel inadequate and blame themselves for what happened.

There are some people in life that we often refer to as “control freaks,” who try to micromanage situations or other people around them. Or they exercise extreme self-control, such as a preoccupation with one’s physical health. They crave certainty and a sense of security. The problem is, the more you try to control your outer circumstances in life, the less in control you will feel because there is only so much you can do. It’s a vicious cycle.

How can you cope with these feelings?

Refocus your energy on what you can control: your attitude, your responses to other people and situations, who you surround yourself with, boundaries you set for other people, your schedule, what news or social media sources you look at, etc. When you have the power to choose your own outlook on life, you begin to learn what works best for you and how to take care of yourself. You rely on yourself and not so much on other people’s decisions or outside circumstances. As a result, your self-confidence increases and you feel more secure. You become naturally healthier as a result. We need to learn that, in reality, the only control we really have is over ourselves. Learning to accept both ourselves and other people unconditionally will help us to better interact with others and become more understanding. Everyone has something they are dealing with, so it’s important to develop compassion for other people and yourself.

I know this can be easier said than done (trust me!), which is why this way of thinking needs to be practiced over and over again until it begins to sink in and eventually becomes a habit. It’s really a life-long learning process because we will always be faced with new obstacles and difficult decisions to make. But remember, the more compassion you have towards yourself and others, the easier it will be (I know this from experience!).

At the end of the day, accept that you did your best and move on. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you may have made, forgive other people, and look at it all as a learning experience and an opportunity for growth and getting rid of old negative ways of thinking. Choose compassion, empathy and acceptance, and become empowered!  

Writing Sample: Crawdads Sing

  A writing sample of mine about a movie favorite from 2022!

A Secret World of Resiliency, Hope, and Suspense: Where the Crawdads Sing

My favorite movie from last year was “Where the Crawdads Sing.” Based on the best-selling novel (which I enjoyed just as much!) by Delia Owens, it tells the story of a young woman named Kya, who raised herself up in the isolated marshlands of North Carolina after being abused and abandoned by her family. She taught herself not just how to survive on her own, but how to connect with the natural world through studying plants and nature, observing animals, and creating best-selling books as a result.

Why Should You Watch it?

It’s a unique story about resiliency mixed with drama and suspense. Instead of Kya becoming bitter and resentful, she persevered and later took a risk by opening her heart to someone. I liked how the movie also showed how there is still kindness in the world from people who did their best to help her and her family. Even though she was abused and had her heart broken more than once, she also learned how to mend it and to still have faith in life. Then when a murder suddenly took place and Kya was put on trial for it, a new twist in the story took shape and drew me in until the very (shocking but satisfying) end.

If you enjoy movies that are a mix of drama, heartbreak, hope, and suspense, I highly recommend you see this movie. Some of the reviews I read seemed a bit harsh to me, but I advise you to watch it and see for yourself. You may just be pleasantly surprised. After all, that’s what suspense movies are all about: secrets that you never would have thought possible.

Learn more about the movie here

Meet the Characters and Their Stories!

                               

Here is a list of all of my published children’s books and what they are about! 💕🩰🐈🐣

You can order my books at: 

WWW.AMAZON.COM/AUTHOR/

LINDSAYDEROLLO & Barnes & Noble (online only)

Sugarplum Stars Ballet Book Series:

Book One: Sugarplums and Shooting Stars (2022, republished edition)

Description: Emma bunny really wants to become a ballerina, but she can't afford to take ballet lessons. One day, however, a surprise comes in the mail. Emma soon learns about the importance of patience, hard work, and reaching for the stars.

Book Two: Pinky Takes the Stage! (2022, republished edition)

Description: Emma and Pinky are best friends who love ballet. When they first hear about their upcoming recital, Pinky gets a case of stage fright. With the help of her best friend, family and wise dance teacher, Pinky learns how to reach for the stars.

Book Three: If the Slipper Fits... (2022, republished edition)

Description: Emma and Pinky are ready to take on their new roles in the Cinderella ballet recital. Everything is going great until Emma and Pinky overhear a classmate say that she heard a rumor that Emma is too tall to become a real ballerina. Emma worries about whether or not this is true. Is it just a rumor, or will Emma's tall bunny ears destroy her dream of becoming a Prima Ballerina someday?

Book Four: The Swan Lake Surprise (2022, republished edition)

Description: The Swan Lake Ballet recital is coming up, and Emma has the lead role! She spends a lot of extra time practicing with Bella, the cat, who also has a major role in the performance. Emma's best friend, Pinky, has a slightly smaller role in the ballet. She is a little sad that she doesn't get to spend as much time with Emma, who always seems to be too busy practicing with Bella to spend much time with her anymore. Pinky is afraid that Emma has forgotten a very important day coming up... and could Emma and Bella also be keeping a secret from her? Pinky is in for a big surprise!

A Christmas Kitten for Max (2020, Two Girls and a Reading Corner publishing company)

Description: Max is perfectly content to be the only cat in the house. His family loves him and takes care of him, which is all that he needs. Why mess with perfection? So when a surprise new kitten named Abby arrives on Christmas Eve, Max is very upset. He is supposed to be the favorite (and only) cat in the house! So he comes up with a plan (…and another…and another…) to get Abby out of the house once and for all. But then suddenly Abby is in trouble, and it’s up to Max to save her. Max soon learns what matters more in life, which is the gift that keeps on giving.

My Grandma's Guardian Angels (2021, Two Girls and a Reading Corner publishing company)

Description: My grandma has always loved guardian angels. She taught me how special they are because they protect and guide us through life and are God's messengers. She also taught me how we have additional angels in our earthly lives who act in similar ways.

Who is your special guardian angel? I certainly know who mine is.

Easter Chicks (2022)

Description: The chicks at Easter time are ready to celebrate and find the Easter bunny! Follow along on their journey filled with Easter egg hunts, jellybeans, springtime fun...and one fast bunny rabbit!

Can you spot the Easter bunny hiding along the way? Can you help the chicks find him?

Read along and see for yourself!

This cute and simple rhyming book is a fun way for young children to interact, read along with and get excited about Easter!!!

Cats on Halloween Night (2022)

Description: It’s the cat’s favorite night of the year: Halloween! Follow along in their fun and spooky adventure filled with mischievous games and watching trick-or-treaters walk by (plus finding a snack here and there)…all before bedtime!

 

Book Review Sample 2023

                                       

Here is a book review sample that I wrote in 2023:

The Gift of Watching You Grow

Debbie Sullivan, illus by Danica Publico.

Little Pumpkin Publishing, Inc., $11.99 (39 p) ISBN 979-8-98759-971-6

This is a beautifully written and heartwarming story about a parent's unending love and joy in watching their child grow and blossom. It is dedicated to the author’s son, Danny. From the dedication: “The happiest times of my life have been watching you grow.” What parent cannot relate to that? The warm and friendly illustrations will immediately draw young readers into the story. The cute and spirited animal characters are a perfect depiction of a parent’s love for their children and the unique bond they share, along with relatable humor mixed in. This would make a great gift for any occasion, especially Mother's Day or even a baby shower. It is the perfect bedtime story, filled with sweet tones and whimsical text. Children will read over and over how much their parents love them unconditionally and how delighted they are to watch them grow up to be wonderful people. Children's imaginations can bloom with the sense of security and self-confidence they will feel while bonding and soothe them until they gently drift off to dreamland. There is also a fun, interactive “heart hide-and-seek” game at the end of the book, as well as places to record special memories and coloring pages of the different characters. Ages baby– 4. (April) 

I love reading and reviewing books, especially children's and young adult novels. I also really enjoy reading adult psychological suspense novels and books about mental health awareness. I always post my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads (and sometimes Bookbub as well). I hope to meet other authors and book reviewers here!

Previous Author Spotlights

 

I wanted to share some of my previous author guest interviews!  *~Enjoy!~* 

https://sweetbeetbooks.com/friday-feature-lindsay-derollo/

https://www.ellwynautumn.com/interview-with-author-lindsay-derollo/

https://www.magicbeansbookstore.com/post/https-www-magicbeansbookstore-com-2

http://www.asrealasitgetsml.com/2022/09/new-release-halloween-childrens-book.html

Writing & Influencer Accomplishments

 Here are some images of various awards, certificates, and social media accomplishments ♡